How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize