I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
