but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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