The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
