you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
