is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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