I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Sorry about my life...
Randomize
