but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
honey bunches of taint.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
