I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
