best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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