i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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