sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
