you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
