So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I am naked and annoyed.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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