I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
This is classic penis vs brain.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
