I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
