addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Randomize
