Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
