I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
