I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
