It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have tasted many bathrooms
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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