yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
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