Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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