I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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