I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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