Define "chronic" masturbator.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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