He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
