dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
