Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
