it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
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