Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
