I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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