Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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