matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He's on the porch naked. Help.
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