Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
