How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
