Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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