I faked an abortion last night.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Randomize
