Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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