I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
It all started with a game of naked twister.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
