Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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