i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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