Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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