Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Randomize
