I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
