i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
