FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize