who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
