I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
