from now on my penis is your penis
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
is that a dick in a sweater?
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