Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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