I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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