i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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