i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
