Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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