now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he puts the penis in happiness.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Why can't burritos get me drunk
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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