I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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