Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
