How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
