If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
