the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
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