maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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