god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
