the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
