Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
tell your sister to shave her snatch
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
