He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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